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Why I hate meeting a perfectionist

Perfect hair, eyes, skin, mouth….. bbblllllllaaaahhh

Perfectionism, what is there to say? A lot of people, especially women, thrive to be perfect. The perfect mum, colleague, friend, housewife, partner, organiser, planner and more. The ones who are successful and really come across as perfect might attract some admiration, but there are also other reactions.


The perfectionist is really irritating. She shows you and me that it can be done and every time you see a Facebook page with another marathon, weekend trip, cake for fair, thriving start-up business and charity event all from the single mum of 4, it’s jaw clenching.


The perfectionist is actually very predictable, which makes them boring. You know the answer before you have asked the question.


Some perfectionist are triggering the urge to challenge them and to ‘beat them’ by, for once, doing something better than they do.  But doesn’t really give satisfaction. The feeling of victory is bittersweet.


If she can do it, why can’t you? It can really undermine your confidence if you start comparing yourself with a perfectionist. Never – ever – do – that.

The thing to remember is that you only see the end result.

You don’t know how much time, tears and stress it has cost this woman to make the impression of being perfect. You don’t know the price she has paid in health, relationships, money……..

And what I have learned over the years is that a perfectionist is usually trying to mask her insecurities. Keep that in mind when you meet her next time: you are most likely happier, more fulfilled and having more fun.


Dr Mariette Jansen will help you overcome stress and live a more productive life. Give her a call to find out how.

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Posted in Confidence, Control, relationships
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