Stop making new year resolutions
I want to make some changes. I think about it, maybe talk about it and then…… it is about taking action. The right actions. I like to be a better domestic heroine than I currently am, so I bought myself a Xmas present: Good Housekeeping. I didn’t get round to read all the hints and tips as I stopped on page 10, where readers shared their New Year’s Resolutions.
Starting with: In 2018, I will finally………..
‘Exercise more
I vowed to do this by the time I was 40, then 50, and in June I’ll be 60. So 2017 is the year.’
What is this lady going on about?
Does she think that because she has not being able to get herself motivated to exercise for over 20 years, at least, she is now going to do it? Because it is 2017, because she will be 60? Her dislike of exercise will not evaporate, just because of these two facts? Would it maybe make sense for this lady to look into why she finds it so difficult to exercise, what is holding her back and do something about that? I can tell you from here, one thing for sure, she is not going to succeed in 2017 if she is not addressing her underlying resistance.
‘Let my creativity flow out.’
What statement is that? What does it mean? How is her creativity going to flow? What is she going to do? I have no idea and my guess is that the person who wrote this doesn’t have any idea either. What you need when you set your goals is specific actions and ways to measure it. Is she going to do painting? Singing or acting? Writing a book or poetry? Making a quilt?
It made me sad to read how people, positive and hopeful, are setting themselves up for failure. It takes a few more steps of thinking through on decisions around change, that are specific, small, effective and supporting the bigger goal.
It needs a little thought and preparation to be successful with your New Year’s Resolutions. The two examples above totally lack both and are doomed to fail.
What is needed is a translation of your NYR into manageable and measurable actions
This will make it easy to stick to it. The lady who ‘finally’ gets exercising should translate her resolution in: going 3x a week for a 30 minutes walk, building up to a daily exercising routine by July.
And the creative person? I will spend 3x a week one hour to let my creativity flow and by April, I will review how to build even more of this into my life.
For my New Year’s Resolution (getting a bit more control of the domestic chores), I will read the rest of the magazine, looking for tips that will help me on a daily basis to get a bit more control. Because in 2017, I will – ditch the ‘finally’ that sounds judgmental even before I have begun anything- ….. spend (at least) 3x 10 minutes each day on domestic activities and in July I will check out how close I am to being a domestic heroine, and who knows, maybe one day even a goddess!
For all of you: wishing you a happy and successful 2018.
