Do you have an internal or external frame of reference?
It affects your confidence levels and happiness Let me explain how an external point of reference sparks your insecurities and undermines your confidence. External frame of reference If you have an external frame of reference you are seeking approval from an external...
It’s not the bite that kills, it is the poison it leaves behind
Separating emotions from facts Can you be upset about simple things for a long time? Do you go over and over the same events? Is it difficult to step away? ‘It is not the snake bite that kills you, it is the poison it leaves behind.’ One of the statements being used...
Midlife crisis? What went wrong and how to make it right
Is Harold suffering from mid-life crisis? Harold is a successful businessman. With a wife, 4 kids, a big house and a big car. He didn’t know if he liked his work, wasn’t sure he liked his family life (lots of ferrying around and paying out) and found his social life,...
Are you a frustrated highflyer or an overloader?
What is your stress profile at work? How do you behave at work and how do you get in your own way? Does it affect your confidence or productivity? Knowledge is power and if you recognise who you are, take on board the advice to change it. Or recognise others and help...
Tips on how to deal with being bullied as an adult
Bullying in the playground is awful and easily recognizable. Usually adults interfere and help the situation change. But what if you are an adult and are ‘subtly’ being bullied by friends and family? Subtle adult bullying is more common than you think. Christel, a...
Who’s to blame? The pills, the therapist, the stress? Tips from the coaching couch
It's all about selfbelief Alex had attended a few of my lunch hour meditation classes in the past. A great way to de-stress in a hectic city lifestyle. Alex usually came in with a limp and in pain (as a result of MS) and left after an hour walking normally. I hadn’t...
4 reasons why s(h)elfdevelopment doesn’t work
Do you have yards of self help books? All New York Times top ten, sold millions and highly recommended? Did you finish any of them? Did you apply the exercises and ideas? I had piles of self help books, I learned some things from them, but they didn’t really solve my...
How to change your life while on holiday – 3 tips from the coaching couch
Do you find it hard to come back after your holidays? Is it a shock to notice that life hasn't changed? Is it a challenge to face reality? Read further to learn how you could use your holidays to make your day-to-day life easier. Isn’t it nice to be able to escape? To...
7 lessons from Gareth to apply in your world class family
Aren’t we all in awe of our England manager? Always immaculately dressed, measured in his comments and absolutely spot-on in his approach to create a strong team. And his approach is not just great for football teams, but will also help in creating a happy and safe...
How baby steps lead to milestones
Lots of us have to face the challenge of jobs we don’t like, but have to do. Often we put them off, only to make it more difficult to start them. Procrastination, overwhelm and even anxiety can be the result. And of course, the job gets bigger. Think of the pile of...
How to improve the relationship with your mother – tips from the coaching couch
‘I love her so much but every time we speak we end up with a row. We are both angry and upset.’ Trish was talking about the relationship with her mum. ‘Earlier or later in the conversation, she looks at me with a smug smile and tells me that I have turned out really...
The incredible impact of blaming
‘It is not fair. Not after all I did. I don’t deserve it. How can they do this to me? It is out of my control. Nothing I can do about it. I feel powerless, useless, unhappy and frustrated. You are the life coach. You have to give me the solution.’ This seemed to be...
Sexual harassment at work and how to deal with it
How to stop sexual harassment at work Esther is the victim of sexual harassment at work. This is what she told me: 'I am on sick leave for 3 months because I couldn’t handle the situation at work. When my new male manager started about 6 months ago, everything...
More people are suffering from anxiety than from depression
According to a report from the University of Cambridge report. More than 8 million people in the UK suffer some sort of anxiety disorder and women are more susceptible to it than men. Powerless Anxiety is caused by a build-up of stress hormones, which have no other...
Three ways to use skiing as a transportable life skill for a happy life
How to use your skiing technique as a life skill to elevate your happiness I was lucky enough to spend some time in the mountains this winter. Getting up on a gondola and skiing down. Loving the wind in my face, being in nature, the excitement of going just that bit...
The pain of drilling and grilling
I help people to change their lives. How? By helping them to think differently. And discover more about themselves, other people and their own life. The main technique I use is just asking questions. My clients and sometimes friends, love and hate me for my...
The secret power of the first time – not just for teenagers
My teenage son is having a whale of a time. And it’s great to see that grin on his face, feeling his excitement and hearing the stories. He loves his life, he is excited and even though he loves his long sleep-ins, he is also easily hopping out of bed to start with...
Why you shouldn’t make New Year Resolutions
I want to make some changes. I think about it, maybe talk about it and then...... it is about taking action. The right actions. I like to be a better domestic heroine than I currently am, so I bought myself a Xmas present: Good Housekeeping. I didn't get round to read...
My ‘agony aunt’ column in Darling Magazine Dec 2017
Who’s boat are you rowing in your life?
You don’t have to search far to find some deep truth about life. How about this little song, known by virtually everyone. It has some great life lessons in it. Row row row – put the effort in to move forward. This would translate as: if you want to make something of...
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