The season of fairy tales is on the doorstep. With the magic of Xmas sorting out all the bad stuff in life. Wars stop for a few days, everybody (even the homeless) will get a hearty hot meal, families reunite and the world sparkles peace. Like a fairy tale.
Do you believe in fairy tales? Where the boy and girl who don’t know each other at all, go off and live happily ever after? Where the goodies always win and evil is being punished. Where the happy ending is experienced by everybody. There is no jealousy, insecurity or anger. It is always light at the end of the fairy tale.
It is easy to get lost in a fairy tale: it’s soothing for the soul, it’s positive and makes you feel good. But it’s not real life.
And over the years, Xmas has been presented as a fairy tale with all its sparkles, love and peace messages. The happy ending never allows for the dark side. But in real life, there is always a light and a dark side. They co-exist.
Fairy tale Xmas is not real life, it is a fantasy. And it drags you into expectations, that strong belief of how it should be and how you should feel. An irrational belief that sets you up for disappointment.
To avoid those expectations and the unavoidable disappointments, do the following:
- Envisage the Xmas you wish for. List all the details.
- Consider each detail and ask yourself: is it in my control? Does it involve an expectation of others?
- If you are in control, is this what you really want and is your effort worth it? Or do you do it for others (assuming they expect this of you)?
- If it is about the expectations of others, I suggest you let go as you can’t control others.
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