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Midlife crisis? What went wrong and how to make it right

Midlife crisis can be a positive turning point

Is Harold suffering from mid-life crisis?

Harold is a successful businessman. With a wife, 4 kids, a big house and a big car.
He didn’t know if he liked his work, wasn’t sure he liked his family life (lots of ferrying around and paying out) and found his social life, organised by his wife, quite tiring.
He made an appointment with me and he actually didn’t know why he did that. Harold was a man who seemed to not know anything. He lived on automatic pilot, went through the motions of life and never felt part of it.

What went wrong for Harold in his midlife crisis?
Looking at his life from the outside, nothing had ever gone wrong. He had been surrounded by parents who were loving and this role was taken over by his wife. As a result he had never experienced a confrontational challenge, a trauma or an unsolvable dilemma.
That sounds great, but unfortunately for Harold, the sparkle of his emotional world had never been ignited.

We talked and discovered that it was very important for Harold to be ‘a good boy’. Don’t be rude, comply, your needs are less important than other people’s needs, keep your head down and keep going and as a result everybody will love you and life will be great. Everybody loved Harold, so that part of his story fitted the bill. However, life wasn’t great at all.

The coaching process focussed on self-discovery and when Harold became familiar with who he was and what he actually thought and felt, everything changed.

The gentle but docile man turned into a passionate feisty person. He had more arguments, he disappointed people sometimes, but he also surprised them, he laughed more and he just felt alive. And happy. He found the missing link: he found himself.

Living on automatic pilot and not making conscious decisions dulls the senses and ultimately kills off the life inside.

Tips on how to ignite your flame during midlife crisis and keep it burning

Ask yourself questions, all the time. Not about big stuff, but about day-to-day activities. If you are used to going to the gym/shop in Waitrose/meet friend Alex once a week, ask yourself:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • How does it make me feel?
  • How would it be to do something different?

Then do something different and ask yourself:

  • What did I enjoy about this?
  • What was the challenge?
  • How did it make me feel?

Following these tips is a good start. However, if you want to make a flying start, why not book a FREE coaching call with me to discover how you are holding yourself back and get in a happier place much quicker. Book your call by clicking here.

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Posted in Confidence, Control, Happiness
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