Food and eating are one of the core pleasures of anyone alive. And there is a good reason for it. Food is not just a necessity to survive, eating is not just a sequence of muscles movements, there is much more to it. Food represents pleasure, safety and emotional and physical satisfaction. You only have to look at a baby to see it all presented.

Every time we take food in our mouth we replay the emotions and sensations we have experienced (or were longing for) as babies. And if all or one of the three main representations is distorted, we develop an unhealthy and unloving relationship with food and eating. And even if we had positive experiences as babies, events later in life can create distortions.

Pleasure – when your body responds negatively to food intake, it will take away the pleasure. This is quite clear for sufferers of conditions such as coeliac, IBS and allergies. When eating is associated with pain and discomfort, the relationship with food suffers…..

Safety – when we are looking to feel secure and safe, not vulnerable or exposed, often food is used to create the layer that helps us to hide our vulnerability. Using food to make our body the safety blanket of extra pounds, which protects and hides the real person underneath.

Another way of creating a false sense of safety by using food, is to take control of calorie intake; the sense of control creates that false sense of security and keeps the mind occupied without having to look deeper into what is going on in your life.

Satisfaction – when emotional fulfilment lacks in ‘real’ life, food can take its place. We create a pseudo comfort of warmth, fulfilment and overflow, by using food. We use the physical satisfaction as a replacement for emotional satisfaction. This creates again an unnatural relationship with food.

The beginning of a new calendar year is often the starting point for jeopardising our natural relationship with food, by promoting dieting and losing weight. If there is already an unloving relationship with food, this will only increase the chances of developing an eating disorder. If losing weight is on your agenda, but if your mind is making overtime thinking about food and eating; if you are on a diet and feel continuously emotionally pressurised by it; or if you beat yourself up about your eating habits, you are entering a danger zone.

As an ex-bulimic of 22 years, I am familiar with al practical, emotional and mental aspects of an eating disorder. If you suspect (or know) that your relationship with food and your eating behaviour are not helpful for your well-being, drop me an email (mariette.jansen.coaching@gmail.com) or phone me (07967717131) to discuss how I can help you,

To read another article about the love-hate relationship with food, click here.

To read more about about general emotional life challenges and food/eating related issues, why not sign up for my three TOP NUGGETS by

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