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Is your relationship oozing love or are you undermining your happiness? - Life coaching and meditation Mariette Jansen

There is more to love and relationships than you think..

Human beings are pack animals and we are always on the look-out for a romantic relationship. It is natural and instinctive. It is a way of seeking happiness and fulfilment. But, being in a relationship can also be the biggest source of unhappiness.

Being aware of what is going on, apart from love, can help you to build a relationship which makes both of you happy. If you know, you have a choice to make changes. If you are unaware, you can damage your relationship and reduce your happiness.

An important part of my job is to ask questions and make you think a bit deeper. Most people think about a situation and come quickly to a conclusion: ‘This is how it is’. However, there is often a bit more than meets the eye and in this article, I am inviting you to look a bit closer.

It is easy to mix up feelings, like love, with other feelings.

Just go through the list and think…..

It must be love, love, love…… What else could it be?

I am always looking to please him.

It must be love, love, love.

Or are just insecure and fearful of losing him?

 

I don’t know how she does it, but it always goes her way.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it skillful manipulation?

 

We leave each other space to pursue our own dreams.

It must be love, love, love.

Or are they just being selfish?

 

He knows so much and he always gives me the right advice.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is he domineering?

 

I don’t want to go by myself. I want to do everything together.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it lack of personality and hiding behind someone else?

 

She text me at least three times a day to tell me she loves me.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it covering insecurity?

 

He asks questions about everything, he wants to know everything.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is he overstepping boundaries?

 

I can’t keep my hands off her and we always end up in bed.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it just lust?

 

He doesn’t allow me to meet other men.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it jealousy.

 

She always criticises me so I do more my best.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it fear for rejection

 

We are so similar, we are each other’s soul mate.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it just suffocation?

 

I feel comfortable with her. She would never cheat never cheat on me.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it keeping himself safe?

 

He thinks all I do is great and always tells me I am right even if I am not.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it colluding?

 

I work really hard and it’s lovely that she doesn’t want me to do anything in the house.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is he just selfish and is she a martyr?

 

He always takes over when I am upset.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is he a rescuer, making me a victim?

 

I need to know exactly where he is and what he does.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it controlling?

 

She continuously checks on my health – giving me supplements and sending me to the gym.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it smothering?

 

He wants me to do exactly as he says and I love it.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it submission?

 

I do everything to accommodate him.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it low self-esteem?

 

I think about her all the time, what is she doing, thinking, feeling.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it obsession?

 

If he is unhappy, I am unhappy.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it losing yourself and identifying with someone else?

 

I have given up meat, so he should do too.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it projection?

 

He can really put me down, but when he apologises I immediately forgive him.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it fear of confrontation?

 

I can’t believe that I managed to get such a pretty girl

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it low confidence?

 

I make the decisions for my partner all the time.

It must be love, love, love.

Or is it overstepping boundaries?

 

Just a few questions to make you think. About others, yourself and your relationships.

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