Esme was driving in her car to work. Crying her eyes out. Her head was pounding and heavy, her nose red and swollen and her sinuses full of yak. It was good she wore sunglasses, so she could pretend to be more or less ‘normal’. She wasn’t of course. The night before her 9-year long relationship had finally burst. Her partner left with a suitcase and she knew that this was it. Forever. It was upsetting and she felt very, very sad.
She took a deep breath while focusing on the motorway lane and all of sudden she was struck by a realization. She felt her feelings. It jumped out of her heart with joy and happiness. She could feel. She was free to feel.
After decades of suppressing her feelings, a miracle had taken place. She could feel what was going on, it was safe to just be and to show her emotions.
Isn’t it miraculous how Esme could feel sadness and happiness at the same time?
It is a bit how I feel during this lockdown.
Happy to have both DSs (darling son) home. Grateful for being not far from a park and a river. Pottering in the kitchen and baking a banana bread, which I have never done before. Experimenting with video editing, which takes up a lot of time. Focussing on finishing my book, which is due for publication in June. Still working with my lovely clients, but online.
On the other hand, NHS is lacking materials, people lose their lives, friends have fallen ill, businesses struggle to survive, people behave selfishly and my happiness drowns in sadness.
Earlier this week I did a talk in the Cygnus Café on happiness and I put up all these questions about what happiness is. What happiness means to you doesn’t have to mean the same to me. We can all embrace our own ideas and live accordingly. But in the process of preparing this presentation, it became clearer what happiness is for me.
What is happiness?
Happiness for me, is a vibration of my soul. Happiness is one of the purposes of my life. Happiness is connecting to my deeper (divine) self without ‘noise on the line’. When I am happy I operate on a higher vibration, which spreads positivity and happiness. Which also allows me to be of more support to others. People who live in my close, friends or strangers.
As happiness is an internal process, it is my focus to keep the noise off the line, such as the news, the horror stories and the negative accusations about wrong decisions from the government. I take responsibility for what I can take responsibility for, and the rest? I let that go. It gives me a much stronger position to support others and spread positivity and light. Counteracting the dark side.
If you are struggling, you might benefit from a free coaching call with me. Click here to book a slot.