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Xmas expectations about your or their Xmas - Life coaching and meditation Mariette Jansen

Happy Xmas to you or to others?

What are your Xmas expectations?

Have you decided how to spend Xmas this year?

Are you looking forward to the holiday season?

Do you feel in control of the events?

Celia is one of three sisters. A lovely lady, who is very caring and values her family. Four years ago both her parents passed away and she had offered to host Xmas to keep the traditional family gathering going. After all, she lived in a big house, had a sociable husband and was an excellent cook and organiser. The year after, she repeated the invitation to celebrate Xmas in her house but last year it was expected and nobody even considered that she wouldn’t do it.

It was taken for granted.

Sister’s Xmas expectations

This year the sisters would be in for a surprise as Celia had decided not to host the event. She and her husband had booked a Caribbean cruise to enjoy quality time together. Instead of entertaining a flock of family.

But………how to tell the family?

This was causing Celia sleepless nights. She was afraid that her sisters and their families would be angry with her, that she would be seen as selfish, unsupportive and cold.

Her head knew it was the right decision. After a busy year, they needed to rest and reconnect. One of her other sisters could probably host if they wanted to get together and after all, she was a free agent. Able to make her own decisions.

But her heart was filled with fear and guilt. Fear for the anger and disappointment of her sisters and guilt about not taking up the task of hosting.

We talked it through and it seemed that Celia allowed other people’s opinion about her decisions to be more important than her own. She looked at others for approval and she anticipated that her sisters wouldn’t approve as it was causing them an inconvenience. Celia needed to develop more confidence and learn to honour her wishes. Despite other people’s opinion.

You can only feel guilty for actions and situations you are responsible for. Was Celia responsible for the Xmas celebrations of her sisters? Just because she had done that for the last few years? She realised that she wasn’t and that helped her in letting go of the guilt.

Tips on how to deal with fear and guilt

  1. List your rational reasons
  2. Explain in detail your feelings
  3. Look at your feelings in a rational manner
  4. Embrace your decision with confidence
  5. Find a way to communicate your decision clearly and confidently

Is Xmas a looming and dooming event for you? It doesn’t need to be. If you want to unpick what is going on for you and feel positive about your situation, just book a free coaching call with me.

Most weeks I reserve a few spots for a free coaching call. It offers a confidential space to explore your issues and get some advice on how to move forward. If you would like to book one of those slots, click here and choose your time.

Is Xmas a fairy tale or a self-induced nightmare? More tips.

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