How to tell if someone is narcissistic
Narcissists present themselves through a mask of a grandiosity and confidence to hide their low self-esteem and fragile ego. In order to feel good about themselves, they need external validation and manipulate and control other people and situations to get that. It’s called Narcissistic Supply and it is the life source of the narcissist.
The behaviour of a narcissist is motivated by:
= Receiving the Narcissistic Supply
= Hiding their fragile ego in order to feel safe
As goes with all labels (depressed, narcissist, psychopath as a few examples), they are being used and misused, because people don’t really know the characteristics and the ‘content’ of that label. When it comes to narcissism, every single one of us will show from time to time some traits. Which could be referred to as narcissistic. But showing a trait doesn’t qualify you automatically as a narcissist. An arrogant and cocky salesperson. a selfish top athlete and a self-obsessed beauty might not be the most pleasant people to hang out with, but you couldn’t classify them as narcissistic without having run a few checks. As with any condition, there is a spectrum and people can show strong tendencies in some of the 5 categories, but none in other.
There are 5 main categories of narcissistic characteristics.
- Has a grandiose view of self-importance
- Has a sense of entitlement and demands constant admiration and conformation
- Will control and manipulate
- Can’t handle any form of criticism
- Lacks empathy and emotional awareness
If someone shows traits that fall within all these categories, then they might be suffering from NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
In my book ‘From Victim to Victor’ – Narcissism Survival Guide, I offer a checklist with 50 checkpoints. Which helps to distinguish between a full-on narcissist, someone who is on the spectrum and someone who is just very unpleasant.
Being able to recognise behaviour and conditions, makes it easier to apply the response that keeps you safe and sane.
And knowledge protects you from manipulation.
Everyone has a narcissist in their life. Believe it or not.
Check out who is your narcissist with this brief quiz.