Hoping but wondering if and how to heal?
Ready to start your recovery process?
When it comes to healing from narcissistic abuse we are talking about a journey of transformation. Learning how to change the focus of attention from externally to internally. For years, the external focus was your narcissist and their wishes and it seems ingrained to keep that external focus. Not being validated and valued by others, including yourself, seem to make it very difficult to tuning into your authentic self. And become your own focus of attention.
Then of course, there is the trauma and the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which you are still carrying. The pain, the guilt and the anxiety for ‘doing it wrong’, the hunger for love and the sadness of failure are all residues of the abuse.
I grew up with a narcissistic mother and had a few partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Knowing something wasn’t right, but always thinking it was me. It was liberating wh
en I got to know more about NPD and could make sense of events in the past. I went ‘no contact’ with my mother when I was 58 and it was the best decision for my happiness and becoming the best person I can ever be. My personal and professional experiences are reflected in my book ‘From Victim to Victor – Narcissism Survival Guide’.
My recovery process was longwinded and chaotic, as I had no one to guide me. An occasional therapist or coach helped me through hiccups and challenges, but no one noticed the NPD and what comes with it. Luckily, I found out myself and thanks to my psychotherapy training, I found the way to full recovery.
I used my personal and professional experience to design the journey for narcissistic abuse recovery coaching. Not sure if you have a narcissist in your life? Take this quiz.
Here are the 5 steps of my ‘Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching’ programme:
- Understanding narcissistic personality disorder and the traits, values and thinking pattern of your narcissist(s)
- Becoming aware of how your narcissist(s) has impacted your life, thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Then and now: trauma, PTSD, cognitive dissonance, confidence, self-neglect and more
- Learning skills to deal with narcissistic abusive traits
- Building up self-knowledge and awareness
- Developing a loving and respectful relationship with yourself
Recovery is an organic process and you will jump between different steps. While you are learning more about your narcissist, you might also become aware of their influence on your emotions and building up self-knowledge at the same time.
Cathy Beetz had only 4 sessions of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching and this is what she says:
‘When I happened upon Mariette’s book while browsing Amazon, I was impressed with the reviews so decided to order because I suspected that I was dealing with a narcissist at work (my boss). In one section, there is a quiz you can take to determine if the person who is hurting you is a narcissist. When I took the quiz about my boss, it was plain as day that that’s what I had on my hands. I had been in a couple romantic relationships with narcissists, so I knew the signs. A narcissistic boss is different from a narcissistic husband/boyfriend, but they are all abusive. After reading the book, I decided to take advantage of the free first coaching session with Mariette via Zoom. I was able to “unload” on her while she listened the entire time. I decided to continue her sessions, and after only a couple months, I was able to use a few different, but very effective methods to close my emotional self off from her, even while physically being with her. Mariette’s coaching helped me to transform myself (because, of course, you cannot change your narcissist) enough that I had the courage to apply for another job within the same company, and I got it! I start on Monday and thank God every day that I found Mariette and her book. It has truly changed my life!!’
If this sounds of interest to you, why not book a free Zoom chat with me?