Manipulation is controlling something or someone to your advantage. Manipulators are people who will use whatever it takes to get what they want. It doesn’t matter that it is at the expense of others, that they twist the truth, make up stories or are disrespectful. There is a saying in Dutch that translates ‘whatever it takes’ in ‘over YOUR dead body’. Ruthless, inconsiderate and unethical.

“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function.” –  C. JoyBell C. – author

Understanding psychological manipulationEmotional Manipulation Infographic
Source: Psychologia.co

‘Natural’ manipulators’

As a group, the narcissists are brilliant at manipulating. Having grown up with a narcissistic mother, I have been on the receiving end my whole life. As a result I am now very good at recognising it. When you are on the receiving end of manipulation you will start to doubt everything about yourself: your thoughts, ideas, well-meant actions, values, self-worth and confidence will crumble. Even though I recognise what is going on, I can still have doubts and feelings of insecurity after a phone call with my mother.

It is extremely difficult to have a normal and balanced relationship with a manipulator. However, if you can stop them in their tracks and take control of the interaction, there is a chance that the relationship develops in a more healthy way. It means however, that you need to be on the alert the whole time and re-direct the conversation as soon as you notice that there might be some manipulation going on.

I am currently working on tips to deal with manipulation and if you want to receive those in your inbox, as part of my weekly email tips and food for thought about relationships, confidence or stress, you can subscribe here.

More reads about narcissism:

https://drdestress.co.uk/mums/recognise-narcissistic-mother/

http://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/lifecoach-articles/the-trauma-of-being-the-daughter-of-a-narcissistic-mother

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