The notion of self in the modern world is often one people get confused about.
What is one’s self? Is it the version of you that you project to the world or the you inside? How often have you noted someone’s behaviour, only for them to say ‘but that’s not me’. Is it them? Is the way you behave what defines you or how you feel inside?
It’s a problem exasperated by the modern world when so many demands are placed upon you. Mother and father, friend and colleague, you have a different hat on depending on who you are with, and thanks to social media, the picture you paint of yourself is often far removed from who you feel you are. It is so easy to project an image of what we want to be through modern channels and maybe even lose sight of who we are underneath the filters, status updates, tweets and content we create. A paper on Sage Journals explores how we use social media for comparison, but often the comparison is made against the image a person wishes to project, but not who they are. Back in the nineties, magazines used to come under fire for airbrushing pictures of celebrities, but in 2022, everybody airbrushes their own life before showing it to others.
It’s scary and easy to see how people struggle to accept themselves in the modern world. That’s why it is important to gain a sense of perspective, to help you accept who you are and be comfortable with it. If the last couple of paragraphs resonate with you, we suggest the following books to help you re-evaluate your sense of self.
What to Say When You Talk to Your Self – Shad Helmstetter
Whilst social media and other people’s opinions can damage one’s sense of self; the most destructive voice is the one in your own head. It is the one that nags at you, that delivers self-doubt and promotes a lack of acceptance in what you’re doing. If only you could turn that inner voice into a positive driver for change. Well, you can, and that’s what you get with ‘What to Say When You Talk to Your Self’ written by Shad Helmstetter. It’s a smooth, easily accessible guide to helping you improve your own sense of self-worth and acceptance by changing the way you think about yourself.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brene Brown
The excellent book ‘The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are’ by Brene Brown is a bestseller that speaks about self-acceptance directly. It has already sold 2 million copies and can be found in audiobook form and printed. It challenges the reader’s opinion of self and has a pleasant tone that encourages and entices change. It’s not fluff either; some takeaway strategies here help you deal with self-acceptance and edge you towards embracing the imperfect life you live, not the so-called perfect life others present.
Who Moved My Cheese? – Spencer Johnson
‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ by Spencer Johnson is an excellent self-help book that has been doing the round for 24 years now, and it has gained relevance through the evolution of the digital age. Having sold 30 million copies worldwide, it has changed a lot of lives, and although it landed before Facebook, Instagram and the digital identity crisis, it has a lot of relevant points one can apply to the modern world. It addresses seven key principles based on change, which feed into self-acceptance. Change is one of the issues people have trouble accepting, both in terms of personal development and circumstances. If you struggle with that form of acceptance, pick up a copy of Who Moved My Cheese?.
If you’re seeking advice in a much shorter form, such as a blog, you may find some help in our recent post on ‘How to Control Your Thoughts and Empower Your Happiness’.
This blogpost is exclusively penned for drdestress.co.uk by Kimberly Victoria.