It is all about control and confusion and once you understand the meaning of their words, you become less susceptible to their manipualtion.
Below are a few translations of what they say and what they mean.
I love you
Meaning: I love you when you give me attention and tell me how great I am. I love when I can control you. I love being the cat, playing with you like you are the mouse. The moment you don’t adhere to my wishes, I will find someone else. Because I only love what you offer me, not you as a person.
I am doing everything I can for you
Meaning: just in case you forgot, I do things for you in order to keep you grateful for having me in your life. It is not a lot, but I blow it out of proportions and you believe me anyway. It is also a reminder for you to realise you would be nowhere and nothing without me.
I am sorry you feel that way
Meaning: I am not sorry at all that I did what I did, I am sorry I got caught. I am sorry you’re calling me out and that I am being held accountable.
Meaning: I invalidate everything you say, even before you say it. That way I am always right and don’t have to listen to any possible criticism.
You are hysterical
Meaning: you are showing emotions, which I don’t understand. I can’t deal with stuff I don’t understand and therefore it needs to be dismissed. Emotional intimacy is impossible territory for me. If I can’t go there, you can’t go either because it is out of my control zone.
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