row your own boatMake your own life choices

Above all, Have you ever wondered how much are you influenced by others or by ideas that you picked up along the way? Have you been limited by it or empowered?

‘Grace is lovely’

‘It’s so nice’

‘Grace is so easy’

Grace was always on the lookout to help and support. She didn’t say no and she was even taking action before people could ask her. Her heart was huge, her arms were big and she embraced anything and everything that came her way. No wonder she was very busy. g

What was going on?

Firstly, Imagine your life is like a rowing boat. And the boat you are meant to be rowing is…….. your boat. Not somebody else’s. And you are not supposed to jump into other people’s boat and take over. Or Do take others out of their boat into yours. And row them instead of them rowing themselves. Everyone has their own unique boat. And the task is to row that boat to its destination.

What does that have to do with Grace?

Grace didn’t have time to row her boat. Grace was busy jumping into other people’s boat and give them a boost. Then she would go into her own boat and invite tons of other in.

‘Don’t worry, I will do the rowing. You will be fine.’

And through offering her rowing services to the people around her she was totally off course in her own boat. She lost track of her direction, destination and familiarity with it. She didn’t recognise her own boat anymore because she hadn’t spent time rowing it herself by herself.

Why is Grace so focussed on helping others?

To clarify, Grace is affected by her upbringing. Coexisting with her narcissistic parents meant that she was forced to run errands for them all the time and sometimes she got validation as a reward. They convinced her that in order to get love and appreciation she needed to help others. Until she recognises this narcissistic trauma, she will not be able to row her own boat.

Make your own life choices: What is the lesson of this children’s song?

Row row row – put the effort in to move forward.

This would translate as: if you want to make something of your life it requires effort, one way or another. If you lay in bed, nothing will happen.

Your boat – row your own boat, not somebody else’s. Don’t let anyone else row your boat either. This means: just live your life, not somebody else’s life and don’t allow others to live via you.

Gently – move it naturally, don’t force it.

The lesson: live with love, respect and care. Don’t bash about.

Down the stream – there is no point rowing up the stream. It will take a lot of energy and won’t get you anywhere.

The message: live in alignment with who you are, follow your passion and go with the flow.

Merrily, merrily, merrily – enjoy the journey

In conclusion: look for joy, go for happiness, feel it

Life is but a dream – it’s your choice to make it a dream or a nightmare……

To sum up, My book on recognising, understanding and overcoming narcissistic abuse is available via Amazon.