Self confidence in decision making
The right and confident decisions always come from a place of inspiration, not of desperation
Rosie woke up on Monday morning. Determined to leave her partner. The weekend was awful and she had enough. On Tuesday she told herself it wasn’t that bad and there was no reason to overreact. Wednesday morning she felt low and numb. She didn’t have the energy to think about anything. Especially not about her relationship. Thursday was fun, as she spent the day with her girlfriends and had a lovely time. Friday she felt a bit heavy but was hoping the weekend would be nice with plans for a bbq with friends. During the weekend, Rosie was up and down and swaying like a pendulum. The next Monday Rosie woke up. Determined to leave. And so Rosie’s life continues.
After several months, Rosie left. Feeling angry, dissatisfied, misunderstood and miserable. Only to be back a few weeks later to repeat the same sequence. Ground Hog Day.
Rosie became a client and I helped her to define her goal. It wasn’t ‘how to leave her partner’, but it was about her ability and confidence to make an informed decision. To be crystal clear of her next move in life and it could be either staying or going.
A decision from desperation is not supported by confidence
She’d left her partner a few times out of desperation. ‘I can’t handle this anymore. I am not happy. It doesn’t work. I have to go. Anything is better than this.’
A decision from inspiration comes from a confident place
Rosie didn’t make a choice from inspiration. ‘I am too good for this and I want to create a different life for me. I am stepping into my power. I choose me.’
The right decisions are made from a perspective of inspiration, not desperation.
We worked through a process where Rosie became aware of how her relationship affected her. In minute detail. And she discovered that she was looking for things that were separate from the relationship. She had to get those things somewhere else and she also found out her part in the process and how she could change. She learned to communicate effectively. And she learned to speak and act according to her own truth. And things changed for the better. Because Rosie changed.
Even though the relationship improved and the desperation Rosie had felt in the past disappeared, they came to a mutual agreement that it didn’t work out. They split up and stayed good friends.
When life invites you to make decisions, it makes sense to make them from the right mental and emotional place. Running away or hiding never helps. Confronting the situation and working through challenges helps you come out the other end.
A question range that will help in a difficult situation or dilemma is:
What does it give you?
What does it take from you?
Who pays the price?
These questions help to get a balanced picture of the situation and will make it easier to make a decision from inspiration, rather than desperation.
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