When talking isn’t a solution for your relationship issues – actions speak louder than words
You have been talking and talking but it hasn't solved your relationship issue. It feels as if there is no change at all. And you feel desperate. Is it time for action, as you know, actions speak louder than words? Sometimes. Do you argue about the same thing time and...
Could do better – a seriously negative and demoralising remark
Undermine confidence How Polly got in the way of her own happiness. Polly was humming when she opened the letterbox. Xmas had been great, everybody was back into the swing of work and school and the new year looked all fresh and promising. Amongst the mail was a...
How I knew I was on top of my confidence
What makes me feel confident A few weeks ago I was at a networking function. The way to behave is to be open, meet and greet the ones you know and especially the ones you don’t. There was this woman who I’d met before and I went up to here, saying ‘Hi, how are you?...
Do you have an internal or external frame of reference?
It affects your confidence levels and happiness Let me explain how an external point of reference sparks your insecurities and undermines your confidence. External frame of reference If you have an external frame of reference you are seeking approval from an external...
Are you a frustrated highflyer or an overloader?
What is your stress profile at work? How do you behave at work and how do you get in your own way? Does it affect your confidence or productivity? Knowledge is power and if you recognise who you are, take on board the advice to change it. Or recognise others and help...
Why your relationships don’t work – tips from the coaching couch
Theo didn't get it. Every time he fell for a woman, it seemed to be a mutual and exciting event. He bought her flowers, dinners, champagne and showered her with text messages, little surprises and a 'sleep well' call at the end of the day. He loved all that and the...
Why I hate meeting a perfectionist
Perfectionism, what is there to say? A lot of people, especially women, thrive to be perfect. The perfect mum, colleague, friend, housewife, partner, organiser, planner and more. The ones who are successful and really come across as perfect might attract some...
How to declutter
We all have heard stuff about decluttering and how a decluttered house represents a decluttered mind; how holding onto clutter represents attachments and how neat- and tidiness stands for control. But is it true? Michelle has been living all her life in a mess; people...
Understanding your 6 core emotions
Awareness and understanding of your emotions make it possible to take control of your happiness Feeling emotional? Great. It means you are in touch with the caveman survival mechanisms that will keep you alive. Emotions are key in surviving and the good news is that...
Why saying thank you is not good enough – the art of gratitude
‘If you’ve forgotten the language of gratitude, you’ll never be on speaking terms with happiness.’ The simple act of feeling (!) grateful and expressing it has a strong impact on health, well-being and relationships. A series of recent studies have found positive...
Help, I am still feeling as crap as 30 years ago
When the years move on and you don’t ..… When retirement looms and you are not ready... Dian was sitting opposite me. Bit nervous and not sure what to expect. She wanted to see me because she wanted guidance on the next stage in her life. She was to retire in 6 months...
How to overcome narcissistic trauma
Narcissist childhood trauma Firstly, Each person is unique, incredible, with their own specific way of dealing with the world. Some choose a way that makes them happy, others go into a direction that is making them negative or sad. In other words we all have the...
Tips to move on in life after a shock or trauma
In this blog post, I offer you an explanation of the natural reaction to trauma and tips to move forward. When people face an unexpected shock or trauma, the first natural reaction is a range of strong feelings: disbelief, anger, desperation, protest, sadness, and...
Diagnosis, break-up, bereavement – with life out of control, where do you go?
Carol felt unhappy, bitter and stuck for the last 4 years and no sense of control of her life. A 38 year old divorcee since three years. She thought her marriage to Ben was ‘sort of okay’. No great shakes, not deliriously happy, but they seemed to get on, had...
Why you shouldn’t weigh yourself everyday
Why you shouldn't weigh yourself everyday and how scales create stress There are women, lots of them, who weigh themselves daily. Everyone knows, even the ones on the scales, that body weight is influenced by fluid retention, which is influenced by hormones, sports...
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