The power of values and why you will never feel connected to a narcissist
Values block or encourage real connections. Sharing values is important in interpersonal relationships. I heard several people breaking up friendships over supporting and not supporting Trump. I have people in my life who I love dearly, but I can’t discuss political...
How a positive mindset can easily work against you
The power of positive thinking works both ways: in favour and against you. Studies by the Society for the Study of Motivation warn against the negative impact of positive thinking. Surprised? Thinking positively can make you feel demotivated to take action (why would...
Can your lockdown perspective change your lockdown experience
Challenging lockdowns never seem to stop these days. Who isn’t fed up with non-existing social life? Or bored with still trying to catch up with decluttering, while charity shops and the tip are closed? Are you preparing for the next stage of life or just feel hanging...
7 unexpected benefits from decluttering
Predicted benefits of decluttering are empty shelves and spaces, but it is incredible how it impacted my mindset, habits and how I deal with life. Would you like to know how changing habits can be easy and fun? How often the pay-off of a new habit is more than you...
Why it’s good to know yourself
Knowing yourself better leads to a happier life One of the main factors of happiness is being at ease with yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. Plus of course, developing a loving relationship with yourself. The main person in your life is you. And the...
Why can’t I stick to my goals?
Sticking to goals and making changes is hard. The hardwired system of the old habits kicks in and gets you off track. You will feel down, a failure and possibly desperate when it happens. Again. And again. You are not alone when it comes to not sticking to goals....
Press Release: From Victim to Victor: “Narcissism Survival Guide” Becomes Amazon Bestseller and receives an award
Written by Dr Mariette Jansen not only from her expertise as a psychotherapist and life coach but as someone who suffered narcissistic abuse from her mother for almost sixty years, ‘From Victim to Victor: Narcissism Survival Guide’ is exactly what it says on the...
Pretend confidence: when your actions don’t match your feelings
Elsy came across as confident, but as with many confident people, her ‘inside’ wasn’t matching her ‘outside’. In other words, how she came across was not really how she felt. She kept herself afloat by using her manuals: instructions on how to behave, what to say and...
How to say no and build your confidence
Having the Confidence to Say No If you can’t say no, using the excuse that ‘that is just who you are’, you might be just running away from confrontations or feeling fear for being judged by other people. Both situations reflect a low level of confidence and...
The Importance of Rowing Your Own Boat and Leading Your Own Life
Make your own life choices Above all, Have you ever wondered how much are you influenced by others or by ideas that you picked up along the way? Have you been limited by it or empowered? ‘Grace is lovely’ ‘It's so nice’ ‘Grace is so easy’ Grace was always on the...
How high performers take confidently control
Living life on autopilot Do you fly through your days? No time to think or make decisions? Action after action? Living life on autopilot Vera was a busy bee. One of these ladies you would phone if something needed to happen. ‘Ask a busy person and it will get done.’...
7 typical text messages from a narcissist
In this article, you will discover 7 typical text messages from a narcissist, why they use this type of communication and how it can affect you. Narcissists aim to unsettle their victims in all sort of ways and text messaging is an excellent tool for that. It offers...
How to make the right decision with confidence?
Self confidence in decision making The right and confident decisions always come from a place of inspiration, not of desperation Rosie woke up on Monday morning. Determined to leave her partner. The weekend was awful and she had enough. On Tuesday she told herself it...
The difference between self-love and self-care
Self-love vs self-care Agnes was not happy. Over the years she had read loads of self-help books – working on her ‘shelf’-development – and also went through a few therapists. She knew exactly what she needed. It was loving herself. The problem was that she didn’t...
How Zoom affects Imposter Syndrome and what to do about it
Women and imposter syndrome Suffering from Imposter Syndrome (IS) is nerve-racking and energy eating. And the new Zoom culture makes it even tougher. ‘Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent...
How to change a negative mindset into a positive one
How to change your mindset from negative to positive Negativity is a low vibrational energy. It doesn’t contribute to happiness, lightness and joy. How can you spot negativity? Last week I overheard a conversation from my neighbour’s balcony between two friends, Penny...
Emotional old pain that hits between the eyes
Are you sometimes hit by surprise? Do you think ‘I thought I was over this’? Are you familiar with the pain? Lars was a lovely 39 years old man, who loved his job as a manager and was loved and supported by his team. He had a positive attitude and was an excellent...
Why you focus more on understanding someone else than understanding yourself
Trying to understand others instead of understanding yourself is often an avoidance strategy to keep yourself safe. Safe from pain, confrontations and having to deal with difficult issues. It also offers a sense of security, being able to predict other’s behaviour....
My narcissistic mother is a nasty piece
I am the daughter of a narcissist. Narcissists are not just unpleasant. There is a lot more to them. They are nasty. Unfortunately, there are a lot of narcissists around and some of them are really clever at hiding how unpleasant they are. When they want to make a...
How letting go of perfectionism creates the perfect result
Doris and David went on a course in clay pottery together. It was a 13-week course and each Wednesday night they took off together. The first night of class, the teacher explained what defined a perfect pot and announced that he was dividing the class into two groups,...
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